Category: Uncategorized

I'm so sad not to be nursing anymore. I waited so long for my "baby years" and they were over painfully quickly. I want another baby with all my heart. As much as I wanted Lexi for ten years. It's like a new form of infertility. I want another baby, I have the love to [...]

The baby is fussing in his crib. I feel my daughter beside me. I'm so tired. I feel the fear, so familiar, pricking at the edges of my barely conscious mind. I need to wake up. Eyes open, rolling over. She says, "it's ok, Mama, I'll cheer him while you wake up." "Ok Baby, thank you." [...]

This month-maybe longer, if it helps- I am going to write more. I'm going to share. I'm going to be as transparent as I can without letting myself dwell on things that aren't healthy and without calling anyone out or being passive aggressive-because that's not what this is about. It's about being a voice. For [...]

These products are the newest step and effort in my treatment of and recovery from PPDA. I've done lots of reading, and found that deficiencies in B12 and general inflammation (helped to heal by high potency EPA and the right probiotics) can cause or exacerbate mental health issues. So here's the plan: Morning/breakfast: 1 tsp B12/1 Tbsp [...]

Oh my stars it's been so long since I've blogged about fitness. I barely know where to begin. Let's start here. I've broken up with the scale. Part of this is because I have a new scale, and my old one is the one I used for my entire journey up till it broke shortly after [...]

Declan, D-Zilla, D, D Monster, Bub, Bubby, Bubster, my Baby Duck. I can't believe you're two-I kinda don't want to. You're not a baby anymore, and that is both heartbreakingly sad, and very exciting to me. You're probably my last baby, biologically, anyway, and so, admitting you're a full on toddler and boy, is the [...]

Almost three years ago, I started a Bible Study called You Are Loved. (The story of that and my experience with it can be found in June/July of 2014 on this blog.) The memory verse for the first chapter was Zephaniah 3:17 and while I may have read that verse before, it felt new that day. [...]

I need prayer, y'all. I'm tired. I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of feeling afraid and weak, and depressed. I have an amazing husband and children, but I can't enjoy them nearly like I'd like. My anxiety limits me in ways I'm too ashamed to share with almost anyone. A glimpse: I panic and fret [...]

So, I'm in that limbo where I am trying to ignore the fact that external/aesthetic changes aren't apparent yet-again. It's hard, like always, but fortunately I'm familiar enough with my body to know it *will* happen, and I won't notice while it is, but suddenly, one day... boom. I am making progress though. I got up [...]

Is it possible to feel discouraged and defeated but also more driven than ever to overcome? I'm discovering that it is. That's where I'm at today. I kinda knew my results from level 1 would be abysmal because of my swelling and where I am in my cycle. But I'm still bummed. I struggled soooo hard through [...]