I’m still stuck on the Mornings chapter of my experiment, y’all, and I’ve slacked off on the quiet. Sigh. Mornings have been in a little flux due to transitioning D to his crib, but also things like power outages, my alarm not going off (today), and just plain going to bed late. I also have a tendency to mentally throw my hands up on getting back on track if something throws me off, so I’m working on that too. And like I said, I’ve slacked a bit on the practices I put in place when I was focusing on Quiet. Social media free weekends haven’t happened the last 3- recital weekend! Must share and watch photos and videos! Power outage! Must commiserate and check on people! And this past weekend I just forgot. Boo. I’ve been *better* about being on my phone less when kids are around but…I need to do better.
I probably said this before, but the key to my mornings is prep the night before, and that’s where the failure, or at least lack of success begins. I have a great nighttime routine *plan*, but most nights, I do half of it at best. That’s gotta change. Take five minutes, do vitamins, wash your face, make your list for tomorrow. Set up the coffeemaker… C’mon girl!
My anxiety messes with my mornings some days too-particularly the last week or so, leading to and during a Nasty nasty menstrual period. Yay. Guys, I wish I was joking about this, but yesterday all day I was fixated on a bug bite on Declan’s arm (he has mosquito bites a bunch of places because he’s so sweet…) that was a bit irritated. He’d probably been scratching it, the mosquito probably sat awhile on him, it was in a place where it saw lots of action, he probably had been scratching it overnight, etc. all rational and logical reasons it was redder. I could not chill out. I’m still a little tense. Rationally I know it’s just a mosquito bite, it’s not infected, it’s not bothering him at ALL, it’ll be fine. But anxiety says “my baaaaaaby!!!” And I’m cranky and can’t function. Thank God for Scott who helps me grasp reality and Is very patient with me when I’m freaking out. He had me put D in a shirt with sleeves “it’ll be good for both of you.” Haha! But yeah, when my anxiety is bad, I can’t drive myself toward productivity.
I’m really going to focus this week on self care, being intentional about what I let into my mind (binge watching OITNB when I’m having anxiety issues, prolly wasn’t super wise…) and doing my night before routine. Hopefully that’ll turn my mornings around and improve my mental health.
This morning, I was doing my devotions and prayer time, and the verse on today’s page of my prayer journal was one that has been especially powerful and important to me the past two years, and I definitely needed it:
The Lord your God is with you, the mighty warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.
Thank you, Father, for that love.