You are lying next to me in bed right now, chewing on your toes and smiling. It seems you’re always smiling, and in those rare times you aren’t, I know the storm won’t last but a moment and there’s a rainbow just around the corner.
I can’t believe you’re six months old already, that half of your first year has flown by so quickly. It’s been entirely different than I expected, filled with challenges to my physical, mental, and emotional strength, but God knew what He was doing when he paired us up. Anytime I have felt like I’m just not enough, I have been reminded by your smile and the love in your eyes that I’m more than enough-to you I’m everything.
This time a year ago I didn’t know you were a boy-I desperately wanted another girl-but the second I found out you were, I began dreaming of a blue eyed redhead who I’d snuggle and nurse and learn so much from loving. You’ve fulfilled and surpassed those dreams in unexpected ways. You teach me every day about the blessing of experiencing mamahood fresh and new without comparison, because you and your sister could not be more different, and that isn’t a bad thing. Where she was eager and outgoing, you are relaxed and shy. Where she wanted to explore, you’re taking your time.
You definitely have personality! You have a sweet and ready smile, a laugh we hear more every day, a particular way of letting us know you want attention (enough with the fake wheezing, Kid!), an aversion to hard work (tummy time has been a battle we’ve fought side by side), and yes, a temper to match that hair.
You love your sister, like I always knew you would, though sometimes she overwhelms you with the exuberance she bathes you in. It makes me feel so gratified to see you two together, smiling and laughing.
You love bath time and kicking your legs, and I’m looking forward to you discovering more and more in the world that excites you.
You are your own man, Declan, and I’m more than okay with that. You’ve taught me, and are teaching me daily, that life is not a checklist, we are not defined by the rate at which we achieve, and that we can thrive exactly as God made us. You give me courage, and joy to tackle my challenges, and peace to enjoy the moments.
Like this one, right now, where you reached for my hand, because you like me close by when you drift off. I love you, my beautiful, singular, loving, wonderful six month old.