Working through things, praying off the lies

Today during my devotional time and after, I’ve been trying to identify the lies that are contributing to my heartache and root them out. 

One of the biggest is that I don’t “deserve” more children, and that’s why I don’t have them.  It’s a lie because none of us deserve children and God gives them to far less “deserving” people than me! The lie that my friends have 3, 4, 5 children in their twenties because they are more deserving is something I need to get out of my head. The truth is that God has a different plan for each of us, and there is nothing better and more fulfilling than that! So, with His help, that’s one truth I hope to carve into a space a lie once occupied. I’ve believed that lie a long long time though. 
I’m emotionally and physically exhausted from this struggle, but I’m so thankful I was able to have excellent devo time as well as a great workout this morning. I’m hoping to get a little more upper body work in during naptime. I know that the emotional strain of this time is affecting me physically, and I’m doing what I can to reverse that. I don’t know how I’m supposed to relax enough for my body to let me get pregnant when I’m fighting this battle. But I hope that if I run back to God every time I feel the fear swell, He will bless me despite my humanity. 

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