Well, just like everything else since she was conceived, weaning Lexi was much less dramatic, scary, stressful, everything than expected. We are now ten days into my plan, and not only has she not nursed, she hasn’t even asked. The final test for me was last night when it was time to take a shower together. Scott has given her baths over the past week to make the transition easier, but the shower is just more convenient, so I wanted to see if we were ready to resume. When she first saw me topless, Lexi grinned and pointed and announced “NUM NUMS!” And that was it. No asking for milk, no trying to latch on in the shower-which used to happen at least twice per shower. Just a laid back girl.
I’ll be honest, I’m a little sad that it’s over. I choked up folding my nursing bras and tanks for the last time for at least 10 months, I miss looking down and seeing her peeking at me while she sucks, and being reminded of all the beautiful moments like that since the day she was born. I mourn the passing of this phase of our relationship that has been with us from the start. I also know that it opens doors to so many new experiences in the months and years to come by opening the door to welcoming our Baby Two. I am fighting for hope in that area, and I want to blog about that part of this journey, but when I think about it I don’t know where to begin. Part of the struggle is that so much of my pain-over half, if it could be quantified- is wrapped up in situations involving other people, and I don’t know exactly how to deal with that except to live the life I’ve been given one day at a time and one foot in front of the other, constantly in prayer. Maybe I could write about that.