grargh

Pictures taken 3/30 and 5/24

ok, so i have to write about the emotional parts not just the statistics and plans, because i look back on past journals and wonder if i struggled like this before.
i’mn having a really hard day today. there have been a number of these lately, mostly because i have been stuck at the same size/weight for just over 2 months. it’s really frustrating. now, until the past 3 weeks, my exercise in that time has been sporadic at best, but i’ve been really disciplined about food, and i guess i hoped that’d at least get me somewhere well, i guess it kinda did-i’ve maintained my loss from march, and that is *something*.
the month of may has been my most consistent exercise month in probably at least 2-3 years. if i stay consistent the rest of the month i will have worked out 17 times this month! i’m really proud of that.
what i am having a really hard time with is the lack of progress in getting smaller. i’m just not. or, at least, not that i can tell. right now i am really tired and really sore. i have exercised 7 of the past 10 days. i’m having trouble falling asleep at night.
i know the only option really is to keep pushing and be patient. i have successfully lost weight before, there is no reason to think i can’t do it again. i’m struggling also with this balance between being patient with my body and pushing it hard enough to get results. i want to challenge myself- and honestly every workout is a challenge- but i also don’t want to injure myself or burn out.
so, what;s the answer? do i push myself today and do the jillian michaels DVD that i just couldn’t kick myself into doing this morning, or be satisfied that i had a really good swim today? i mean, my swim was better than yesterday, so i should be able to do at least half of it like i did yesterday, right? what i feel like doing is going to sleep. ahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa. i’ll let you know what i end up doing….

Edit: walked up to CVS and back (.6 miles) to get ultraswim shampoo and decided to pick up the Jillian workout tomorrow. 🙂

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