I just wrote my last Wellness Wednesday, it feels like, but here we are! I’m lying in bed with Ducky, helping him wind down for his nap, and trying to sort out what’s happened this past week, and how I want to move forward. Because, really, moving forward is the only answer. I start to beat myself up sometimes for constantly changing things up with my exercise, or for not having an easy time keeping consistent with the things that matter to me, but that’s useless. What matters is moving forward, towards what I want.
Nutrition: this is improving. I bought veggies for salads and I’m really excited about that. I’m also working on being more comfortable with cooking eggs (have I mentioned OCD is fun?) again, and I think that will be good for me too. I have no desire for rice today, so that’s a change. Haha! Today I have taken my vitamin drink and my Detox Organics, and had oatmeal with seed mix for breakfast. I also had that cloud coffee stuff everyone is making, and it was delicious. Tonight’s dinner will be salad with chicken and veggies. Hopefully this will be more of a typical day, from here on out. (I need to have lunch!)
Rest: I’m working on this. Like, not just “I need to do this…” but actually making choices-and sometimes letting my body choose for me, like last night. We were having our weekly date night, and I just conked out on the couch (the Old Forester bourbon I’d been sipping helped, probably.) I got in bed at some point, and stayed there till 8:30 this morning. At first I was tempted to beat myself up for not rising at six as planned, but my body needed that sleep, and I needed a slower pace today than the one I wanted. And that is okay. Resting more today than I want to will equip me to have a tomorrow that is closer to what I want without sacrificing my needs. Tonight, I’m going to put on my blue blockers after dinner, and get in bed by 10:30, eyes closed by 11.
Exercise: I took time off (way too much, 9 days, only a few of which I took a walk) for my period, and I need to not do that. I need to move in some way every single day. Even on the worst day of my period I can go for a walk, do 10 minutes (at least) on the bike, and some slow flow or stretchy yoga. Momentum and consistency are what I need most right now, to move my body toward health and energy, because stopping entirely does two things: it makes it harder to start again, motivation wise, and it also functions as “going off my meds” as far as my mental health is concerned. So, I need to have a set “period day 0-3” plan and keep moving.
I am getting back into it, though, and being both intentional and gentle with it. Monday I did some strength training, yoga, and a low impact ride, yesterday I walked, did a little strength work, and some yoga. Today I did an incredible chest opening yoga flow, and I am going to do a quick 20 of some sort on the bike later. Tomorrow’s plan is a walk, push day for strength, a 45m PZ ride, and some yoga (not sure what yet.)
Here’s my general and intentionally nonspecific training routine, that I’m hoping to be back into by the end of this week:
I’m still feeling not quite where I want to be with my strength training, so I’m going to try to hammer out where that is going. I love experiencing strength gains, and lifting heavy on certain exercises. I don’t love self pacing or timing my workouts. I do enjoy Jillian Michaels’ workouts, with her pacing and variety of movement, but I don’t want to do all the lower body work and cardio intervals in some of them, because I get plenty of that in yoga and on the bike. I don’t want to spend 45 min or an hour a day on strength work, but I also want to see and feel big progress to keep me motivated. I could do Peloton strength workouts (10min each arms/shoulders and Chest/back) but historically I’ve run into the same issue of not liking some of the exercises. But y’know what? if I don’t like it, I don’t have to do it. I can sub in another move, or just take a break if I need it. I have a wealth of options. I kind of want to do a speed run through JMBR (six weeks vs 12) but adding push ups, pull ups, heavier chest and shoulder work, and deadlifts…(but how do I add that stuff without adding MORE time?), and then a normal 8 week run through Body Shred, keeping up with the heavy lifting. It would be easier to add the heavy lifting to two shorter peloton strength workouts…HMMMMM let’s move on, and I’ll share next week where I land on that.
Self care: still on the struggle bus here. not much to say except that I still need to do that home Spa day I had planned for last weekend but never happened, to get me at a baseline to maintain. Sigh. I’m at least going to do my skincare routine tonight.
I’m also considering a daily selfie posted to my IG story to prove I am dressed and groomed each day. not because I’m vain, but for accountability to myself. and maybe to see if regular skincare, sleep, soul care, exercise and good nutrition shows externally?
Soul care: This has been good and is getting better. As much as there are specific elements I really want to include, and a flow that I love for my quiet time that I want to return to, I’m really proud and excited that I have been pretty consistent about doing *something* every day lately. We are doing a lot of worship time using the YouTube app on the TV and I’ve also started using my Write the Word: Cultivate Renewal journal. It’s been really good so far.
Body image/love: I’ll be super honest. I’m not feeling this right now. I want to feel strong, energetic, confident. I want my external to reflect all the work I am putting in. But, right now, I don’t have any of that. My pants are tighter, I’m exhausted most of the time, and I don’t feel like this body is mine, the way I have at other times, even when i haven’t been where I want to be.In those times, I’ve at least felt like I was on the path, like progress was being made. I’ve said it over and over, but I don’t need overnight change, I just need to make consistent, incremental progress, to know I’m doing what my body needs, so I can stick with that and keep going.
My body IS strong and capable, though, and it does deserve love. Today I love that my body allowed me to, fairly easily, get into and hold full camel pose today, for the first time in a long time.