It’s my rest day, and I’m really trying to embrace all that that is coming to mean in my life. I feel like I am approaching a baseline state emotionally after the tempest of the past couple weeks, but am not fully out of the woods, so I am being extra intentional about using this day to feed my body and soul. Part of that is taking the time to write when I have it. Lexi has decided to try to opt out of the Reading and Writing practice part of school today by just retreating to her room, and in a dual purpose of natural consequences (it’ll be waiting all day if need be but she will have no screens or outside till it’s done) and feeding my own soul, I am going to write.
So, I’m feeling emotional today- which isn’t unusual, I am an extremely emotional person- however, these feelings are a bit bigger than “normal”. This tells me that I’m probably still a bit depleted, despite having felt most of yesterday that I was BACK, BABY! Maybe it’s because Scott and i were up till midnight, maybe it was the nightmares I had last night (side note, no more valerian root at bedtime!), maybe my hormones, maybe all of the above and more. It is what it is.
E has given me a great tool for when i start to have heightened anxiety, that helps me capture the thought and its accompanying feelings/moods, and dissect and then replace them with an alternative thought and then examine how the exercise has impacted my feelings/moods. It is often very effective and helpful, so, inspired by that exercise, I’ve created another tool for myself when I wake up feeling some kind of way so that the feelings don’t own my day.
I’ll ask myself three questions: (Today’s responses, as an example, in parentheses)
- What am I feeling? (sad, a bit of dread, just generally FEELZ)
- What is/could be causing this? (up too late, bad dreams (valerian root?), hormones, just a mid range depression day)
- What can I do about it? ( care for myself today by having devotions, eating and drinking well, practicing yoga and meditation, generally resting, filling my mind with positive things -Phillipians 4:8!- and staying off Social Media. keep moving forward.)
This gives me perspective on the situation and the active steps I can take to make sure I have the best day I can, even with the feelings.
Notice that nowhere was it listed to stop feeling this way! That’s because I often don’t have that choice, but I do have the choice to dwell on the feelings, or let them be what they are and live with joy anyway. I’m learning more and more each day that the way i look at and talk to myself has a huge impact on my outlook in general. if i call myself a failure or “too much” because of the feelings I experience, it’s gonna drag me down and make my whole day feel defeated because i “shouldn’t” be feeling them. Instead, I by acknowledging and feeling these feelings and where they come from I can less often get stuck in them and bogged down.
Please let me know if you try this and how it helps you! Also, if anyone you know struggles with some of the same things and could use another voice of encouragement, please send them here. My motivation in my writing and sharing is that my experiences, challenges, struggles, etc can be used to help and encourage others toward freedom and victory.
Let’s all nourish ourselves, body and soul. No more punishment.