I have no idea what I weigh, because the scale is broken and it really doesn’t matter, because it’s not a great measure of progress for me anyway. I know what I weighed 2 weeks after D was born, and when I’ve made some serious non-scale progress, I’ll check back in there.
I’m not starting this program in my size 8 jeans like I hoped. Heck, for whatever reason, my 10’s are tighter than I’d like right now. But I am where I am, and what I do know is I am far healthier and fitter than I was five months ago when I started working out again. I’m not where I hoped to be, but I’m miles ahead of where I was when Lexi was this age, and that’s a victory.
I’m sure what it will take to get this fat to start shedding, and I know I’m not in control of it, but only of giving my best each day and treating my body well. I’ll probably experiment more with calorie intake, and see if I can make it happen that way, but I’m also going to try to enjoy where I am and know that this time is temporary, and it won’t be forever before Declan isn’t relying on me for all his nutrition and I will have more rest and resources to be more myself again.
I’m asking a lot of my body. My sleep is nowhere near what it should be (and yes, Cindy, I agree that’s likely a huge tremendous factor), I’m exclusively breastfeeding, which is requiring somewhere between 300-800 extra calories, (making it hard to know what I should be eating), I have postpartum depression, so those hormones are outta whack, and I have two littles, one of whom I’m homeschooling. None of these are excuses, but they are facts and factors. My dear wonderful friend Cindy (who has been my most constant and faithful friend for almost 8 years despite the fact we have never met in person) reminds me often that it’s not fair to compare where I am now to where I was two years ago, because everything is different. I have not gotten much smaller since Declan has been born, but I know I’ve traded in for a ton of rebuilt muscle. (I’ll blog later about where I am with the PPDA and what I’m doing there.)
I’ve decided to set resolutions ahead of starting this program, as rules for this next phase of my journey:
-I will NOT try on my jeans every day for a test of progress. I’ll do this only on the Monday morning of a Level Up.
-I WILL do *my* best each day, not comparing or feeling defeated by what I can’t do.
-I WILL celebrate small victories like mastering a challenging move.
-I will NOT overtrain to try to get faster results
-I will NOT beat myself up for struggling.
-I WILL hydrate constantly!
Goals: during this first round of BodyShred I hope to:
– stay consistent. 4 days a week of BS, 2 cycle classes, and as many walks as able.
-complete the first level of the push up training app in addition to 2 sets of 25 extra push ups
-finish the plank challenge I started last month during the month of October
-I’d still like to wear my size 6 jeans at Christmas, but the eights would be ok too. (I don’t know what to expect, but I need to have some sort of size goal)