Well, sort of…
The past few weeks I’ve been practicing listening to my body more in my resistance training and in cycle trying to keep my heart rate at or below 85% mhr in preparation for becoming pregnant again. Now, I did none of this while trying to concieve Lexi and had no problems, which is fantastic, and maybe I could keep up my current intensity level and our next baby could be fine, but on the heels of a loss, I feel like erring slightly toward caution is wise. And, I mean, I’m not slacking off, just not pushing myself to complete exhaustion on every single exercise and gargling my heart on every song in cycle class.
It feels weird though, to not walk on jelly legs out of spin class, or to wake up less sore than usual-almost disappointing. Though I’m still working to improve my fitness, I’m having to recognize that this is a singular period in my life, and God willing I’ll have many years post baby to leave it all on the gym floor.
It’s also hard to balance scaling back in a wise way with not slacking off, because, if I’m not pregnant this month, the journey does continue to get fitter and stronger. (Still so weird to think that I’m not trying to lose weight anymore!) so, I’m pushing, I’m doing as many reps as I can, with as heavy weights as I can, but if my heart races or my breathing feels funny, I back off instead of pushing through. I’m subbing in a lot of light jogging in place for higher impact cardio intervals. I’m still getting a great workout, but in a way that feels safer for the life that I hope is beginning inside me. I’ll keep working to be the strongest mama I can, for Scott, Lexi, and hopefully for my little Declan or Victoria.