I woke up this morning feeling really down. Just like I’d lost without even having a chance to try. 3 hours (and a lot of tears) later, I still don’t know why. I know some of the things that are weighing on my heart, and maybe it was the combination of being really tired physically that made them all converge, but it’s still frustrating to start a day this way. I really had to fight through my workout-it took an extra 6 min of pausing to catch my breath throughout- but I finished it. That got me thinking on how I can turn this day around. Instead of letting all the thoughts and fears (mainly missing a particular friend and this [totally unfounded] fear of never having another baby) beat me and defeat me, I need to focus on the fact that I am NOT defeated. I have not let myself be stopped by fear or sadness. I have not run to the wrong things for solace from hurt and fear, I’ve faced what’s ahead with determination, given it my all, and not quit until it’s done. This morning, that meant getting up and pushing through a really tough workout when I wanted to lay in bed and cry. Other days, it means other things, some less tangible. Every day it means not letting the darkness win. On that front, I remain undefeated. 

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