Crazy Times, y’all… Obviously there’s a lot to talk about, and I’m sere you’ll hear a lot from me on many topics, but today I’m going to try to stay on topic while still sharing how I’m making the best of a hard and crazy situation, and maybe-hopefully- helping you find new ways to do the same.
The other day, as I was texting Kristine, a thought/feeling /realization came over me, that for the first time in years, I do not need to work at or save any resources for trying to go places. I’m in a place right now where that’s off the table, (as much as I don’t want it to be, but again, another post…) and I need to really make the most of that and use my resources to do something i have completely lost all my muscle memory on- caring for myself, or, as E calls it, self-parenting. If you’ve been following this blog for any length of time, you know that I’ve just been spinning my wheels on this, and some of it comes down to discipline and some to me making progress with me mental health and throwing everything into that. While I still hope to see progress in healing and internal work on my mental health, through lots of prayer, reading, writing, and worship, I have an opportunity right now to really get healthy and well rested and cared for, I feel a very strong sense of urgency not to waste it.
So now, I need to figure out what that looks like, on a practical level. Y’all know balance is not my best skill, and that’s definitely part of this. At the same time, another theme in my life right now is that I’m capable of more than I think. Soooo it should be fun to sort that out! Haha! For a little bit of a change, I’m going to both share where I am now, and what I am going to focus on in each of these areas in this season, in order to better use my time and resources, as well as re-learning self- parenting.
The past few weeks, due to the virus hysteria as well as some other big things happening for me personally, food has been very scattered and spontaneous. I haven’t been eating *badly*, really, just not very intentionally or consistently.
Going forward, since this is such a strange season, I’ll attempt to keep healthy stuff around, and eat fairly balanced and healthy, but not be a slave to the carb cycle or anything like that. Pasta and sandwiches may happen, and I’m going to be okay with that. As long as it’s possible, I’ll keep fruits and veggies around ( grocery delivery is my new BFF!), and enjoy them, but this is just not a season for being strict. Most important, I think, is staying well hydrated and keeping regular consistent mealtimes. For both Scott and I, I am going to continue meal prep for our lunches, even while he is working from home. It will keep things as normal as possible and help us eat well.
This is probably still going to be the toughest area requiring the most discipline for me. I have been keeping awful hours the past few weeks, staying up late and sleeping in, and it has been just terrible for any kind of consistency in the things that matter most to me. I’ve lost my streaks in writing, exercising, soul care, creativity…just all the things. I’ve said over and over that sleep consistency is the foundation of having good, full, and free days for me, and I really need to do better if I want anything to improve.
So, Hopefully tonight I’m going to start going to bed and getting up at a consistent time (Six AM) to start my day with intention and purpose. I’m also going to soak in a bath with Epsom salts at least twice, but hopefully up to four times a week and take a magnesium supplement to promote recovery and good sleep. I’m going to put on my blue blockers right after dinner and wear them until bedtime. I have lots of other restorative activities planned into my days as well (see self care and soul care sections) , because I know that if I don’t plan them, they won’t happen.
Whoooo Doggie! This has changed a lot recently, and I think for the better. First, Kristine (My BFF , if you;re new here) started her trial of the Peloton App, and then ordered her bike. YAY and game changer for me, because social Mae is social and being able to both work out *with* Kristine and talk about what we are going to do separately, has really been good for me. So, after a few weeks of barely working out at all, I have done some exercise seven of the past eight days. It feels so good to be moving my body, I’m not performing anything close to where I’d like to be, and that’s humbling, but it’s also a starting place.
Going forward in this season, I’m going to be moving my body a lot. I am committed to doing some kind of movement with the peloton app each day, whether a ride of some sort, yoga, stretching, strength… but what I’m really aiming for is this:
- Early walk (practice for when we get our dog!)
- Ride ( all different intensities and lengths)
- Strength (mostly upper body and core) (only 4x a week)
- Evening slow family walk (still practicing for dog)
It sounds like a lot, but I’m easing into it, and because of all the craziness from this virus, my Peloton community is organizing a lot of group rides and flows, so it’s social too. Kristine’s bike arrives Monday, and that is going to be amazing and fun! My motivation-/drive behind the movement has shifted some, which you’ll hear more about soon,- suffice it to say, it’s a lot more about fun and feeling better now.
(I am reworking this category to include social activity that brings me closer to healing and also time that i take to do things for myself that might feel “selfish”, but are things I need to do to train myself to see my own value, because I have *forgotten* it. I’m talking about bubble baths and manicures, yes but also time doing just nothing, or watching a movie. )
This has been… a struggle. I’ve had some huge stuff happening mentally, emotionally, and spiritually lately, and unfortunately, all the progress I’d made creating these habits came to a screeeeching halt. No time for regrets, just gotta move forward.
Obviously right now social stuf isn’t taking giant leaps, but I *am* continuing to make bold steps and not let myself retreat or feel like a burden. I’m going to stay in regular contact with my closest friends (my top 4, especially), my mom, and all 3 sisters, and continue/resume asking for prayer requests. I’m also hoping to organize virtual togetherness with friends/ family and, of course, LOTS of working out with Kristine and my Menace pelofam.
In this season of self-parenting, I’m aiming to build the following habits and rhythms in caring for my body *daily*
- Wake up water and skin brushing
- morning Skincare and brush teeth
- Hair and makeup
- Real clothes when not working out
- Regular mealtimes
- Shower or Epsom bath every day
- Evening skincare and teeth brushing/face rolling
I’d also really like to make these a more regular, if not necessarily daily, practice during this time:
- Self mani/pedi (maybe do this with Lexi)/face mask/ deep condition my hair- maybe all at once, maybe not.
- Eyebrow shaping- ain’t nobody getting close to my face for *awhile*, yaknow?
- probably add more as I think of them
I needed to separate out this category to get a little more in depth and specific-for myself. Again, all my habits and routines have been out the window recently, so back to basics. I *have* done a lot of writing and worshipping and processing and praying lately, which is awesome, but the consistency of practice is something I crave, almost like my own liturgical order.
My *daily* Soul Care time plan looks like this:
- Daily Calm (at least a 10 minute meditation)
- Scripture study and journailing
- (If time allows) reading an uplifting nonfiction book and maybe journaling in response
- (If time really allows) a reflective mindfulness activity like coloring or guided journaling
I also want to resume my 5 minutes or so of gratitude/victory journaling in the evening. Maybe… more to add?
This is an area I am really excited to see grow in this season. I’m writing something that involves this that I am so excited to share soon, and don’t want to steal my own thunder, but suffice it to say…progress is being made.
I’m hoping, in this season, as a result of these recent realizations combined with all this active loving and caring for of my body, that I will see massive strides and growth here. I hope that what comes out of this season is BOLDNESS, freedom, joy, an confidence, and that definitely includes my body image.
I LOVE my body this week because it shows me all the time that it is capable of incredible resilience, surprises me often, and the better I care for it, the more it rewards me.
To keep all this (and everything else) straight and focused , I’ve made- and laminated!- a schedule for myself.
Tangentially related, maybe under the self care category, I wanted to also share that I plan on doing a TON of Writing, reading, and gardening in this season (provided I can get my hands on some veggie plants!). These things make me feel refreshed, purposeful, and ALIVE!
I hope that all this public self reflection has maybe given you some thoughts or ideas on how you can love yourself and pursue your own whole self wellness in this season. We can and will get through this time, and I’m praying for each and every one reading this to find so much hope, healing, and renewal through it!