I haven't written much this week, and I've missed it. It's been a hard week emotionally and mentally, but even in that I'm seeing God work. That's another post though. I have been too exhausted to put words together, but oh how they have been bursting to come out!
Jen Hatmaker did a Facebook Live stream this past Monday evening on the eve of releasing her new book, and the short part I was able to see included her reading an excerpt from an essay about how creativity is holy and something God created for us to do, and it spoke so deeply to me that what i am doing here is not pointless or fruitless. It's something He created in me, this hunger, this need, to write, to share, to paint pictures of feelings and truths with words. He has given me the calling to do my part to make sure others know that they aren't alone in their struggles and challenges, and most of all, give hope that even in the struggle, even when things seem dark, He is working and creating beauty.
That message came to be more important than I realized when, on Tuesday, toward the end of a particularly disheartening day in general, I got the news that the first piece I'd ever written to submit for publication outside my own little blog was "not what we are looking for right now". It was due to an oversight on my part, and I fully own that. It was not a true and full rejection either the editor encouraged me to submit it to The Mighty, because she found it moving and important, even if not right for her publication. I was embarrassed and disappointed, but I took a deep breath and did just that. No allowing myself to doubt or quit, keep moving. Feel the feelings, yes, but don't allow discouragement to kill my dream or my drive. Turns out The Mighty is a bit overcome with submissions right now, and they are holding onto my piece for now too. Onward we go.
I have so much to write here, y'all. So much to share from my heart and my life and ii seems the more I write, the more I want to. I want to bring a voice of honesty and authenticity, courage and hope, laughter and fun. I want my story to have purpose and meaning beyond myself. I've questioned whether I need to streamline what I write about, drop the fitness, write less about my personal journey and more themes in abstract, but, I don't think so. This is my voice, my story, and not one aspect of it is disposable. so, at least for now, you get all of me.
I have many friends who are "real writers", you know, published, with books. I also have friends who are not "as" published, but consider themselves writers and have masters degrees and connections and that gives them more clout, right? I think I've let myself hold back on pursuing my own writing because of comparisons and thinking "who am I to call myself a writer? These are writers." But that's nonsense. Someone else's journey has no bearing on mine.
Do you have a dream or a passion you've allowed to be shoved aside or given up on? Why? How can you embrace the holiness of creativity and the hunger God places in each of us to express it?