Forgiveness

I’ve really been struggling, for almost two months now, to forgive someone, and the person it’s hurting is me. I guarantee she isn’t giving the situation a thought, but it’s been eating and eating at me. I feel like on an interpersonal level, I’ve handled it lovingly. All of my communication with her has been genuinely aimed at showing love and peace and in the ways I have been able, reaching outside myself. However, in my heart and in my thoughts, I’ve been growing more and more bitter, and it’s stealing my joy and making me stuck in areas I should have freedom in. It’s a complicated situation, but the only part I am responsible to unravel is my own unforgiveness. She hasn’t asked for my forgiveness, and likely never will, as I can only assume she believes she did nothing wrong, but I have to choose for that not to matter. I have to let this go for the health of my heart, mind, and spirit. I’m not even thinking about my relationship with her right now, because frankly, I can’t tackle that on my own, she’s gonna have to want that too, and until she does, I’m going to not unfairly project my desires onto her anymore.i think the uneven desire for a relationship is part of what set me up for this in the first place.  This is about me forgiving because it’s what brings God the most glory. Forgiveness doesn’t have to mean running back like a puppy to someone who beats you down, but it does mean letting go of anger and hurt to make room for freedom, joy, and whatever God has for me next. I feel like my feelings toward this person are distracting me from healing, and I want free from that burden. Please pray for me, because this is sure to be a painful battle. 

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